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| Ten tiny toes |
Hold on - don't go so fast. I know these are the words that I will be saying a lot of in the many years to come with my little one. They're already so true.
We worked so hard at the beginning to get her to grow. To encourage her to eat so she would put on weight...first so the feeding tube could come out...then to gain weight so she could go home...then so we hoped they wouldn't send her back once we had her home...now to keep healthy. And wow, has she caught on. She's amazing to me each day - growing and stretching and reaching each milestone so much faster than I ever anticipated.
She now thinks she's ready to walk. No interest in crawling or figuring that out, but let her stand in your arms and she's happy as a clam. Let her push against you with her tiny, delicate toes and she'll smile all day. But wait...too soon...that means you'll walk soon and I know we're not ready for that. That means baby proofing and cabinet locks and moving all kinds of stuff out of your reach...but it means you're walking. That you'll be running on a playground and meeting other kids and learning and loving and living and I want all of that for you, but wait! You're still my little one that was so, so very little and I want every second with you. Every moment of precious giggles and coos and smiles and even the tears and cries and stinky moments.
I know all that lies ahead of letting you go - your first day of school, being a teenager, oh God, driving and then graduations and college and so much more. Watching you grow and learn and make mistakes and being here for you, but also letting you make those mistakes.
But for now, I'm going to keep cuddling and cherishing every second with you. Every moment you smile and shine so brightly and when you wrap your so tiny fingers around my one finger to hold yourself up - those moments, I'm going to hold on to.
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