Wednesday, June 6, 2012

More Than Enough

I realize this is a week or two...or three behind the timeliness of the issue, but this matter is just not sitting with me. 

A few weeks ago, a notable national media outlet released a magazine with a cover photo that stirred much controversy among parenting "experts."  The statement was, "Are You Mom Enough?" 

Is there really such a thing?  Can you really not be Mom enough?  And why do we, as mothers, continue to torture one another and judge one another with sentiments like this?

I have many friends that are Moms and we certainly do what many friends do and chat with each other and mention, "How's so and so?" We share information, we even include our opinions.  These opinions might entail concern about another Mom or even a comment that we aren't sure we agree with what she's doing, but if it works for her.  It's a horrible piece of being a woman or even a person really, in my opinion, that we do talk about one another.  We do say we don't like her shirt today or his hair, or even, the shoes! 

BUT...we have to STOP judging each other.  Enough is enough.  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!  We can share our opinions, but it should be that - your opinion.  Not dictation of what is right in the world.  Not law of how something should be done and certainly not the only possible solution for someone else.

Another unspoken truth, we really don't know.  Two sides to this...
  1. We don't know what's going on in your life.  We don't know what is happening in your office, with your parents, siblings, extended family friends, spouse or let alone your children.  We may know some because you've shared with us.  We may know about one argument, about one week of sleepless nights with the baby, about one fight with your sister.  We don't know all of it combined and we certainly do not know how you feel. 
  2. Perhaps I'm still new at being a parent, but we don't know what we're doing frequently.  I know that I'm trying, I know that I'm following my instincts, what I've read, a conglomeration of what my friends and family and professionals have shared, but I don't really know what is the absolute right thing to do in every situation.  I don't know for sure that my choices won't cause challenges down the road for our family or even my sweet pea. 
But I know that there can't be a war if no one chooses a side.  I know that as a mother I can choose to be supportive of other parents, to honor their choices and be there when they need support, consolation or even admiration when things come out great!  I know that I refuse to judge and say that one way is right and another is wrong.* Mommy Wars, please.  God help us if the Moms ever did really get in a war.  Be interesting to see how that played out wouldn't it...

*Obviously, I don't condone abuse or abandoning your child or my favorite from this week's news - leaving your 5 week old baby, in their car seat...on TOP of a car.  But if you love your child, if you're doing the utmost to support them with clothing, shelter, food and raise them to be kind, intelligent, generous and loving adults, I cannot NOT support you. 

We're all in the same boat. We're all doing the best we can with the oars we have. 

I am a Mom.  I am the best Mom that I can be.  I may have to remind myself of that on a daily basis, but I am doing my best and I love my sweet pea with every ounce of my soul. 

Is that Mom enough for you?