Saturday, September 10, 2011

Earth Mama Cometh

I did this.  I made homemade baby food for Miss Maddie. And she loved it.  I feel so empowered as a Mom that I did this.  That she is doing so well and gaining weight and eating so well.

It's nearly six months since our peanut changed our lives forever.  At the beginning of those six months, she couldn't eat enough.  So much so that she had to have a feeding tube.  In the grand scale of newborn or preemie issues, this wasn't catastrophic, but it was terribly difficult to see.  To see her with that little tube in her nose so she could get the nourishment she needed was hard. 

I definitely struggled with the preemie guilt that I've heard of on many mom blogs.  I felt incredibly guilty that I couldn't keep her longer, that I couldn't provide the warm, safe and needed environment for her to grow bigger.  For her to have the strength she needed.  For her to be larger than the 3 lb., 3 oz. perfect doll that she was.

But we are so lucky.  She is strong.  She is amazing and she is mine. The guilt will never completely go away, but I understand what we went through and know that the best decisions were made at the time. and she's here and incredible and we love her so much.

I'm not the overzealous, all organic, cloth diapers only mother, but I am incredibly proud to say that I made her food. I know we'll use some of the prepared stuff as we go forward, but I had bought a book on baby's first foods and purees and it sounded pretty easy.  And I have a food processor that doesn't get as much use as it should so... baby food.  I'm having a mini "Baby Boom" moment this evening,, but let's not get carried away just yet.  I'm certainly not moving to Vermont.  And if you don't get the reference, please rent "Baby Boom" soon. She did love the butternut squash puree too.   *sigh*