Etiquette, Ever Heard of It?!

Look out Emily Post, here I come.

I would consider myself to be one with good manners.  Not perfect by any means, but good. I try very hard to be thoughtful and aware of others and very considerate.  This has often led to more than a few interesting situations.  For example, I am often shushing my hubby or friends as we walk through the halls of my apartment complex because, gasp, I am concerned they will hear us and this will disturb them.  However, I realize that not everyone is quite as considerate as me...example, my bedroom borders on the stairwell and security door for the floor.  "Did you, like, know that like, for real he's sleeping with her?!" - Conversation heard just this morning at 2:30 a.m.  Can you believe it?  He's sleeping with her and they individual that was so grossly offended didn't even know that "like" should not be used twice in the same sentence when not discussing one's personal love of something with great emphasis. 

Now, the exemplary behavior of my neighbors is not the motivation behind this post.  This, this one is from a long time pet peeve.  Mike, this one is for you.

The train.  There are rules people.  There are things that you should not do on the train.  These include, but are not restricted to:

• Filing or particularly clipping your fingernails - this is a task that should be done at home. AT HOME...and even better if you do find it imperative to do so on the train...the clippings, they are NOT to be shared with your neighbor. Ew.
• In this same arena - makeup.  Ladies, seriously, finish this at home.  I'm not talking about those folks that powder their noses or apply some lip gloss. No, this is directed at those folks that feel the need to apply their entire medicine cabinet in the seat next to you. You know who I mean, those with the ten brushes and twenty tubes of product all spread out over their lap and trailing onto the seat.  You're beautiful, with or without the makeup, but please, finish it up at home. I fear for your eyes and your accuracy with the lack of smoothness guaranteed by the train tracks ahead.  
• Having personal conversations on your cell phone at a level that anyone else can hear.  Now the bad news is that almost anyone can hear you on a train.  You're on a train, not a sleeper car, but a commuter train where I can hear the conversation of nearly everyone on the car.  I don't need to know about your recent procedure or anything that you feel the need to describe by color, consistency or smell.  Again EW.
• Please don't eat smelly food.  Eating is a tough one to start with because really your idea of eating etiquette is a whole other story...not to mention that it's a difficult thing to do without sharing some mess with your neighbor.  Candy, snacks that don't involve utensils these are okay.  But smelly food - that is just not nice.  Plus, having recently done this, it's really, really cruel to the pregnant women on the train. Whether they're dealing with morning sickness or just general sensitivity to smells, help the mommies-to-be out!
• Share your music with me. Honestly, thank you, but I'm good.  I don't want to know that you are single-handedly destroying your hearing by listening to it so loudly.  I am sorry for your hearing loss.  I know a good audiologist when you need it.  Until then, I'm going to hope that you develop the good sense to turn the volume down!

Please don't think ill of me...I'm really not a horrible person...but this must be said.  Now, my fellow train riders are not all bad. I've seen some true acts of generosity on the train.  The two gentlemen that helped an elderly woman from the train every day on the evening commute home.  A fellow passenger covering the ticket for the obviously haggard mom on the train with the newborn that couldn't find any cash.  When the train missed our stop, another kindly person offering their cell phone to me since mine had died and I needed to call home.  Thank you to my fellow passengers that ride with respect for each other and a positive attitude.  Thank you to those that remember that stinky is bad and personal grooming is really best done at home.
All aboard!